Sunday, January 1, 2012

Take a glimpse back in MY 2011


In every beginning, there’s always an ending but the ending doesn’t means the end of everything... Sometimes its the beginning of something new, something better, something great to embark on.
Before I start with saying hello 2012, I’ll just take a look back in the year had passed.
I can’t even remember what had happened in the very beginning of the year 2011 but here are some events in my life that I just can’t forget.
January 2011. I can still remember, it was New Year’s Eve and I’m lying down in my bed because I am sick, I had a fever. Bad headstart but anyway its the start of tons of activities in Mass Communication like the Talk show wherein I am the director which is entitled “Modern Mom” which is I am not proud of the outcome because it was a total disaster in the very first place because of some circumstances occurred like a big misunderstanding, the laziness of one member and not being cooperative of the others, but anyways I learned something from it... To hold your temper to those people who are just not it. After that, my statement was formed, its “being agree is just a waste of time especially if the person you’re going to be mad at is not worth it... Let it be...just go with the flow... you’re not the one who’ll suffer in the end.”
February 2011. my birthday was just an ordinary day that time because of work but still thankful because the Lord gave me another year to live my life to the fullest. Next, another activity is the Variety show... you know something that’s like ASAP or Party Pilipinas... Sing and Dance and Hosting thingy. At first, I am expecting to become one of the talents because I know I can give my full performance to it but I was totally disappointed and devastated when our professor announced that I’m going to be the switcher. After that class, I went straight home riding a jeepney because I wasn’t able to stand what I heard. I even texted my best friend about it, that I don’t really wanted to be someone or do something I am not totally familiar with and start making tantrums like a kid and all that but he said that yeah, he totally understand what I really feel but on the bright side, I am going to learn, something that is way far from my comfort zone. So there it is. I accepted it and I’m ready to take chance on it but our director changed her mind and make me one of the talents... somehow I’m happy because that’s really what I wanted to happen but that thwarted me in learning something else... well... things happen.. Everything is just so constant... by that time... I can’t really jive on her attitude or even her jokes... I don’t even know if her joke meant something or something like that... I was kinda twisted with her attitude and behaviour and you know what, I even blocked her in face book because I begin to hate her... you know, she is someone I can’t really be a friend. Everything seems to be deranged during those times... as in everything, let’s start from the rehearsal to the concepts of OBB(opening billboard and closing billborad, we even planned to sabotage to whole thing but I know the whole group is not with me, there are some who is in her part, so we weren’t able to make some changes according to what we like because she said so, she always mention, “director ka ba?” and something like that... she’s really mean you know, she will just hear one’s suggestion but later on ignore it like she didn’t hear anything even though the suggestion of one of our members is pretty useful she just won’t listen because of what? Because she said so, because she is the director. Ugh! What a pathetic reason! Tsk tsk! Every time I remember those times I really can’t help but be pissed off. Anyways, time is up for the preparation, hello variety show... you know what happened? It was a whack, another not good performance... well, what I learned from it? To not keep quiet all the time... because during those times I didn’t speak anything against her or the concept upfront. Because if you remained silent, nothing will happen.
March 2011. oh gosh, busiest and the toughest month for me... start off with shooting of our very own short film entitled GARAPON directed by Janice Salcedo and Art Leonardo and music video entitled Crimson, directed by Renan (forgot the surname) an original composition  by John Eudes Reyes... This one is somehow okay, but the planning process was one great puzzle. There’s this some people who wanted their concept to be used and all of that... everyone wanted to be heard like there’s no tomorrow, a bit of a fight occurred but it the end the directors decided that it will all be the writers idea. End of the conversation. Then its done, preparation for the shooting, we shoot all of the scenes in Marilao, Bulacan near Maymark’s place, some experienced supernatural creatures or something like that, some were laughing at how I motivated the actors, as if they can help and that one pissed me off as well but what the heck, some people tends to be like that, making fun of something even if its not really funny. Well, after that, is the selection for the Athena Film Awards Committee and I and Grace were chosen by the directors and when its the time for us to meet, the representatives are namely: JM Diaz and Mariz Urcia from 301, MJ Fallan and Kevin Hesita from 302, Milo Elmido and Edss Tolentino from 303 and finally me, and Grace Mercado from 304. We don’t know our positions yet when we all met so we decided to drew lots, I am the one who made it. I let them all pick first but before that they were teasing me to be the head and I refuse to because I want a fair fight then after they picked, what’s left for me is to position they want to be- the Overall Director. I was shocked by that time because its such a great responsibility for me and its something that I really have to work with. So, that doesn’t end there. We start off budgeting and looking for a great venue for that special occasion to be held on, there are lots of options actually but we end up choosing the Bayview Park Hotel in Roxas Blvd. But before that... I tell you, I was like crying because some people from my block were blaming me for not opposing the decisions made by my colleagues because their reason is I am the head of it, therefore, I have the power to not agree with the decision of the majority but I am not that kind of leader, Its okay for me wherever the venue is... its just that I am not the only one who’ll decide for the whole group, so whatever the majority wants, that one will surely be granted so  I have nothing to do with it. I somehow lost friends if they were really one, they got mad at me for one thing I didn’t really wanted, good thing there’s this one individual named Jeffrey who defended me from all of them. He explained thoroughly that they shouldn’t be mad at me because I was just commanded by someone who is higher than me; I am just a student for goodness’ sake. I was just taking orders and doing my responsibility at that time. I didn’t know it will be a big issue for everyone... well, not for everyone but for my block alone. After all the angst and everything, we, were able to make the awards night a successful one despite of what had happened, I stood up in front of them and proudly say my opening remarks. It was one heck of a month. Indeed. But what I’ve learned is to stand up tall and proud after the storm and tell myself: hey! You did it!
April and May 2011. It was a total rest for me... unwinding things up... Starting off with writing whatever is on my mind and relaxes my whole being. Realizing what’s important in this world and everything.
June 2011. Another semester and hey! I’m on my third year! How many semesters more and hello real world. Been a bit busy for the academics again and my theater organization which is Tanghalang San Vicente de Paul wherein I’m the official choreographer. So, we gain new members in the organization and I met new faces in some of my subjects. Somehow fine month for me and for everyone.
July 2011. A shocking month for me because I was chosen to be one of the representatives in the contest outside school created by the Public Relations Society of the Philippines wherein we should revive the failing image of Sanguniang Kabataan nowadays. What a title. I’ve never been chosen for years to compete outside school,  that was indeed an achievement for me. I am with my colleagues namely: Joel Ramos our Team Captain and the only guy in the group, Maria Charisma Cailao, Christine Isabel Donato, Crista Lebantino, Erika Almaden and Glenda Mugol. Well, do you know how many days we have to prepare for that? 2 weeks! We all say, “huwow! BOTA (Battle of the Ads) pala tas pitong tao lang? Ang saya diba? Work kung work! Haha!” Despite the pressure, we still able to manage a joke, what an irony but that’s how we work, its not all about pressure but having fun while learning from what we did. Honestly, I didn’t contribute that much because I am not that intelligent, really, I am just sort of artistic, so, the only thing that was assigned to me is the song, to sort of compose it. Me and yssa (nickname of charisma) worked it out. The very first song we’ve made was entitled AKO, it was created in Starbucks in SM manila maybe because of the aroma of coffee that’s why we are able to form it. (haha! Kidding!) Then after that, we will meet after our class to work with each other for the Plan and creatives and everything, we even had an overnight (1st one) in Yssa’s place wherein I cooked carbonara for them and they liked it. 2nd overnight is in Joel’s place in Malabon near my place, that time my papa arrived in the Philippines from abroad (I’m not sure where he came from) and went straight home in Quezon Province, I promised to come home but I wasn’t able to do that because I can’t leave my colleagues like that, So I decided I won’t leave until we somehow finish all the stuffs that we have to accomplish. That day, I was able to finish one song but without a melody, so its pure lyrics, it was entitled “Online ako dyan”. After that night, I found out that Yssa’s brother who will arrange the songs we’ve made is the lead guitarist of Side A who is Mr. Leevon Cailao. Our last overnight was in Yssa’s place again but before that I came from Quezon Province to see my papa because according to him, he missed me. Haha! Then I cooked carbonara for him and surprisingly, he liked it, he even asked where I learnt it. I just said it was an experiment, I gather the information from the internet and then after that I tried to cook it last summer vacation and it was indeed a successful one. I did cook it also on my last get together with my elementary classmates in Antipolo in Kate’s place, Kate is the one who had then idea of putting tuna instead of pork in carbonara and it worked out, way more delicious and healthier than my first try. Anyway, our last overnights is in Yssa’s place again and know what, I was able to see in person the genius Mr. Leevon Cailao, he even complimented the song I wrote, the 2nd one. I was like, saying “Thank you po”. I was shy at that time because hey! I’m working with a PRO and not just PRO, He is very much known all over the world and lucky me; I was able to work with him. What a surprise! That moment was simply inexplicable for me. He even let me record my own version of “Ang Boses ay Ako” former AKO which is a rock type of music and the other one is entitled “LOL” which means Laging On Line which is a reggae type of music. Oh, I’m so proud of my work and the one I’ve worked with. Its been a blessing to have such a talent. I was able to gain some friends this month as well within 2 weeks. Also, this month I was able to plan an interview 3 of the stagers that I truly admired: Direk Vince Tañada, Cindy Liper and lastly, Jordan Ladra. It was a project in one of my major subjects. Well, the idea started when I’ve watched them perform “Cory ng Edsa” in St.Scholastica near DLSU in Vito Cruz. What a fruitful month indeed.
August 2011. This month was one of my favourite month because there might be a not so good that happened but there’s also good thing... hmm... way good for me. This month, the PRSP Team where I belong wasn’t able to get in, sadly, all the efforts we’ve made were gone in the wind. We were like expecting to get in but it wasn’t given to us. That’s life... not everything you want will be given to you. Anyway, so much with melancholic moments. Its time to tell the happy ones or should I say, the “kilig” ones. So, it was July 28, I was told by Direk Vince to go PSF studio for the interview proper, I was with Ameli, we waited for like... 3 hours, good thing, there is kuya art and kuya john to help us out. They said they don’t know where direk went and they keep on contacting him but for some reason, direk just won’t answer, maybe he forgot, so just go and reschedule the whole interview thing on Aug.4. I was kinda pissed off but somehow thrilled because I was able to see Jordan up close and he smiled at me, so I smiled back. Ugh, he’s just so handsome; he’s wearing blue collared shirt and pants, simple yet he still manages to carry it well. Then, Next thing that happened, stagers was in Adamson University, doing the San Vicente: A zarswela every year, so, they were scheduled to perform for 3 days, Aug.2-4. I watched it in their first day but I wasn’t able to start it, anyways, after the show, they had a break for about one hour and I approached kuya art if he can accompany me to remind direk about the interview and he did. I was able to see direk vince and Jordan that time and Iasked them if they eat carbonara because I told them I’ll be cooking for them and they’re excited for it. Alright, Aug.4, the moment I’ve been waiting for. Not so good at first but I was able to do it anyway. After my class, I went straight to Mitch’s house because that’s the nearest place in school where I can cook, so, there it is, all set, all along, what I don’t know is that, the end of the showing of the play is at 3 pm so I am late. I even called direk vince to update, he told me, they even waited for me for about 30 minutes I guess, they thought the interview proper was cancelled so they went on but that didn’t stop me from doing what I have to do. I told him, I’ll just go wherever they are so that I could interview them no matter what. He told me to go to harbour square near star city. Riding a taxi, I fetched Lyka in Adamson and went straight to Harbour Square, that bastard taxi driver tricked us, he didn’t drove us to harbour square but in somewhere else so we rode another taxi and head our way to harbour square. When we arrive there, I really thought it was just three of them but I was shocked that they are 6, namely: Kevin Posadas, Kierwin Larena, Monique Azerreda, Joms Tañada, direk  Vincent and Jordan Ladra. I told Lyka, I should’ve added carbonara for the rest but they told me its okay, so we start the interview proper. Direk Vincent was very straight forward and I felt like he’s not relunctant in sharing his experiences before he is where he is now. So, everything go smoothly, next person I interview is supposedly miss Cindy Liper but direk said that she have some important things to do so I had an ambush interview with Ms. Monique Azerreda, I was apologizing for the short notice but I think she didn’t mind it so, I interviewed her. The interview went smooth and I’m down to my last interview. I was keeping the entire thrill inside me while I am interviewing him, he is laughing in the middle of the interview because I guess direk vince and the other boys were teasing him to me. Haha! That was just a guess. Anyway, we went on and after the interview proper, I asked if did he know what’s this interview for and I said its for my project and I’m so thankful that direk let me do the interview even I am late. We had a little chat before we go, I even told him that I messaged him right after I’ve watched his first short film in cinema one and he said, “ay sorry ha, baka hindi ko nga nabasa” then he touched my hand and lyka was making face on the side. Haha! Funny but thrilling! Then when its the time I want to take pictures with them, something happened to lyka’s camera so I just decided to record it and seize the moment. Love it! really! Because Jordan was observing me while I spoke in front of the camera introducing them. Truly and indeed grateful for that day!
September 2011. Preparations for the play, well, another challenging month for me because of a great misunderstanding. Ugh! can’t help but laugh at it now cause the Karma is just so fast. Well, here is the thing, because we are running out of time, I’ve decided to make an act. An act that I didn’t know will turn out into something not so cool. I was assigned as the SM or the stage manager of the play entitled ASUNTO. The position was fine with me. What’s not fine is the attitude of the members, we are all running out of time and yet they still manage to enjoy and relax. The heck! Didn’t they know that the name of every member and the organization itself is at stake! I’m so fed up encountering immature people who were so egocentric and thinks only for their own happiness. That really pissed me off. So I decided to talk to our president and discuss about the situation itself. I told him that I have no doubt to the talent of our director, what I doubt is she won’t be able to handle it that well because she has bigger responsibility to take care of and its academic thing so it is hard for it to neglect, especially if its a group work what I mean to say is... they are having the Battle of the Ads that time and I know everything about it because I already finished that subject. From the requirements given, to the pressure within the group, up to the assigned deadline and everything. An ultimate pressure, stress, sleepless nights and forced extraction of idea from your brain. I have done all of that but in the end, it was all worth it because we won almost everything except for the jingle and we are hailed champion. In her case, its another issue, another product, another story and another experience. There was a time that she decided to pull out and hand over her responsibility to me. Oh well, I’m ready because I already expected that it will happen but there are some narrow-minded people who just can’t accept the fact that I didn’t stole her position, I just fill in because nobody else will, I mean, they can but the whole responsibility itself is such a heavy load that you won’t be able to handle without enough experience and I am not bragging about it but I have handled big responsibilities and most of them are bigger than that and I was able to handle it well, so therefore I conclude that I am pretty fitted for the position. I just can’t help but write this. There’s this one person, let’s call her Ms. Know it all because she thought she knows everything, she understands everything but its not. She won’t bother listen to every explanation I have, the more I explain in a nice way, the more she repel to me. She even told me things which are not said by a person who is in a normal condition. I am not saying she’s insane but I believe she was driven so bad by her emotion which is I don’t understand why she has to be so mad at me, well, infact, its not really her business, its between me and ish alone and we already resolved it. The heck with her! After that squabble, I just controlled my emotion and temper and did not pay attention to her, I act like as if nothing happened, anyway its not my guilt but hers, so I let it be. The rehearsals continued and the doing of props and etc.and hey! She is the head of the Marketing Department and guess what happened? Its a total flop because of her negligence. See what I mean? Blaming others dirt instead of looking her own dirt first? Ha! Too bad for her, she wasn’t able to realize that earlier. Then days went on, the date for the play was moved. Instead of September 24, It was moved to October 8, 2011. I was glad it was moved because we are literally unprepared. By the end of the month, I was able to stand and still be the director despite of some mistakes I committed.
October 2011. The 8th day of this month was indeed a surprising one. That was the exact date wherein our stage play entitled ASUNTO will be shown in Adamson Theatre. I am the director and I am late. How Ironic! anyway, I didn’t mind that. Everything’s clear, from the set design on the stage, to the lights and sounds and production number of every main character was okay. I even told our former president that we won’t be encountering any problem, the only I can foresee is in the financial aspect, well I was right. At around 2:30 in the afternoon, it was raining outside but it didn’t hinder our beloved relatives and friends from watching our stage play so it went on. I honestly can say that first part was somehow a flop not because of the performers but because of the hosts, I won’t mention their names for personal purposes. Anyway, after that was finally the 2nd part and the ASUNTO itself. It was started by an ensemble saying the words: “Sigalot sigalot sigalot, sino ang syang salot, hustisya ay lumulubog” and then the scene from the script started. It was executed well through the help of my actors and one actress; the five main characters namely: Joem Oquias as Georgie Mercado, Krishelle Cabasi as Samantha Valiente, Greggy Yadao as Ronald Torre, Edwin Bayacal Jr. as Roland Po and Erlthon Eroy as Sarhento contributed their ideas to make the play hilarious and not boring. The play itself was about the 2 face of justice: right and wrong. If you’d watched the play, I can say that you laughed hard. After that stage play, most of the people who watched congratulated us for a job well done even if its not perfect but atleast we are able to give our best and heart to it and that’s all that matters. Put your heart into it and everything will be successful. End of the 1st semester and I had a two week break to unwind and to relax my mind and body. I told myself that won’t happen again.
November 2011. Back to school and its 2nd semester. New subjects, new faces to meet, some are new professors and the rest is all new. Okay, It was not as busy as the last semester but still in the adjustment period because I have to wake up early for me to attend to my 7 am DPPG lab class every Tuesday and I hate it because I have no other choice, no other schedule for that subject so I just have to endure and get used with or else, I’m going to get a 5 and I don’t want that. Super! A big fat NO! Anyways, academics here, org there and I’ve been closer with my friend Zaira. We happened to have early dismissal every Thursday and Friday so we were able to go somewhere and eat and chat or do shopping! Haha! Girls just love it! Okay, so November 26 is their course’s General Assembly and they have a theme: Hollywood Vintage. She needed some of my fashion advice and a makeup artist, who am I to say no. So, days before that, we went to divisoria because she will be needing some stuff like make up and accessories and etc. November 26, I put make up on to Zaira and Alex and after that, I went to church and go back to Adamson to be with them, I really thought that we will go straight home but zai told me that were going to a party, not a party party but a session, that’s our term for drinking liquor and celebrating. It was her high school tropa and guess what, they’re all boys. After we ate, we went straight to Dimasalang wherein that is the location of the session. There I met her friends namely: Elias, Najum, Ferdimar or Pogi for short, John Ferdinand or ferdz, mark, Jay, Jhon Rey Tupas or tups for short and Rei. They were fine and seemed quiet at first, not approaching me at all, so I decided to talk to them and I started a mind twisting game which is open close, open close. They just couldn’t figure out how did that happen but zaira did. Then after that, they started their own mind game. I am never good at it so I always lose in every mind game they play. Haha! Then I cut them out and I started to have a kokology. A kokology is a personality quiz wherein subconsciously there are facts from them were secretly revealed and yes it did. We had fun. I had fun with them. I knew that it was a start of a new bonding and friendship. This month there are some things that had happened but I’d rather not to discuss it here. Some things are meant to be kept secret.
December 2011. Finally, I’m down to the last month of this year. This month was really a gala month for me and one of the most unforgettable months this year. Okay, start with hanging out with my new clique by drinking liquor once in a while... seeing some of them and etc and I was able to meet Molly and Mutya, another friends from Zaira’s high school batch mates. Dec. 10, advance celebration of Jhon Rey’s birthday in their place in Cavite. I gave a gift. Dec. 13, concert at PLM wherein I was yelled at by an ill-tempered human being namely Rei. I got mad for that. Really. He didn’t even manage to say sorry. But anyways, I did not allow that incident to ruin my night, so we went to PLM and there I met Lhyn. Another friend of zaira from way back. When we got our day there, I met the twins Jhelay and Jhezel and there is pogi again. He wasn’t able to come in my invitation for videoke because of some personal reasons. So, we waited for Sponge Cola and when they arrived, they rocked PLM and they were so cool! In tagalog, ASTIG!!! Hahah! Love their gig! I’ve watched them for the 2nd time, only this time, nearer. The night doesn’t end there. After the gig, molly decided to treat us in Cow Boy Grill in Mabini Malate. And guess what, its my first time there and we’re like chillin’ and relaxing and drinking like there’s no tomorrow but since I’m a moderate drinker, I got sleepy right away and asked them if we could go by 2 am. But they said, after they drink all the beer which is in the jar. Love the chi chas. Haha! Especially the unripe mango! Thanks really to Molly. Hahah! It was past 3 and I really wanna go home, when suddenly, a Japanese citizen namely Mr. Lee wanted to sing in front of everybody and gave money to the band, then he said, I need a partner who can sing with me, without a doubt, I hurriedly raised my hand and run fast in the stage and then poof! I got 2 thousand pesos! Hahaha! Easy money baby! And then we sang “Bakit ngayon ka lang by freestyle” and that ends the night. Such a relief! Another night out, Dec.15, Thursday. Gig of Najum’s band: Sabrage in West Avenue wherein I was able to see the band Join the Club perform live and gosh! They rock! Superb! Haha! After the gig is raket night, haha! I was asked if I could host a debut for 400 pesos and I say I’m on. Haha! After that, was house arrest in Zaira’s house for 5 consecutive days. Haha! Felt like already a member of the family. They don’t even want me to go home especially butchoy, the nephew if zai. He’s such a baby. Last night out but not just a night out but a very special moment for me. Dec. 22, Thursday. It was PSF Xmas Ball in EastWood Richmonde Hotel in Quezon City. After all the make up and preparations, at last... its the moment I’ve been waiting for. Heavy traffic before me and Ameli arrived to the place. Then at around 8:30, our eyes met (Jordan and mine) then he came to us and say: tara, dito kayo oh... then we went to the entrance of the function hall and we were accommodated by Ms. Jerie Sanchez and asked our names then she said that we’re going to sit on table 8 near Alex Dorola’s table. Haha! One of my crushes as well... He was damn hot that night, ever gorgeous. I just can’t take my eyes off of him. Anyway, so much with Alex. Around 9 pm, the program started with a prayer and National Anthem and a special number from the stagers, after that dinner time, fine dining, started with bread and butter, followed by macaroni salad, followed by soup and the main course, roasted chicken with some veggies and last but definitely not the least is the dessert, I wasn’t able to consume it cause its so sweet. While the program is on going, Rei keep on calling me, telling me to go back in zaira’s house by 11 in the evening for another party wherein its a drinking session again, ugh! Always always always. Anyway,after dinner, I asked Ameli to get our make ups retouched, that was a good timing actually cause after we had our make ups retouched when we came back to our table it was cotillion time and then kuya JP Lopez announced that you may now get a partner and dance... I was just looking at him from afar or should I say from the dance floor... his first dance was an elderly of PSF. And then suddenly, a young stager came to me and asked for a dance, so I agreed. That young man is Leo. I started the conversation because I know that he is too shy to start one. Anyway, after that, we go back to our table and take a look at those people who were dancing. Jordan is roaming around; I think he even asked his mom if he can dance with her but I can that his mom refused to, so he look another person to ask. Surprising, he saw me and offered me to dance, Ofcourse I won’t say no, that’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, that was all I’m waiting and I’m going back to Zaira’s place. While we’re dancing, I’m the first one to talk. I said: “Kamusta?” and he said: “Okay naman.” Then I said I have something for him, actually, I have something to the 6 of them. And he let me enumerate those people. They are kuya art, kuya John, Direk Vince, Rotsen, Alex Dorola and him. Then he suddenly mentioned about the venue itself that supposedly it was a 2 function halls but for some circumstances, they just got one and he told me, “pansin mo? Ang liit nung place?” and then I noticed 4 of the stagers were dancing in a circling way, and then I told him, “ang cute nila oh” then he started to come near them and join them... That was so fun... haha! I can remember each precious moment that night... Then we went back into being the two of then after a few moments, the music stopped and he said: “Ay, tapos na” and we were the last pair to get out of the dancefloor... feel like most of them were staring at us... HEAVEN! Hahahah! Then after that, I decided to give the gifts to them, I first give it to Kuya Art, then followed by Rotsen and some of the stagers beside him were looking and said: “asan yung samin?” And I was shy to say, “Uhm... next year na lang po”.  I just can’t say that I don’t know them that’s why I didn’t give them any. Haha! Next, I am planning to give Direk vince the gift but he was busy chatting with his friends so, I looked for Jordan and give him the gift, He was thanking me and he asked If He can open it right away and I said yes, go ahead! And when he opened it, he found a letter and before I left him, he’s face is smiling while he is reading the letter I wrote, I’m pretty sure, He appreciated it. A lot. Next, I gave the gift to Mr. Alex Dorola, he’s such an inspiration to me. Because he writes stories which came from his heart, mind and imagination. What a brilliant guy. He could be the next Director Vincent Tañada, only hotter and more gorgeous. Haha! He thanked me and I had a beso from him, also Ameli who is very thrilled after that. Haha! Last but definitely not the least I was able to give it to Direk Vince because I told him that we’re leaving because we’ll  be having another party, then he thanked me and we left. After that, I went straight to Zaira’s place and continued the party. Whew! I was in heaven. Super! That was one of the greatest gifts I got this Christmas.
Well, That’s one heck of a year! Experienced how to fight not in a cruel manner but in a fight where you know you’ll win. So much to learn for the next year to come. Hope its another fruitful one. God bless everybody! J

A chaotic yet exciting World of Love

“Fun being a girl, isn’t it?” [Sean from Burlesque.] One line and it explains it all. Well... Literally and figuratively... there are lots of things you can say about being a girl... There are good and bad ones but sometimes you’ll think that if you were one, you’ll just wish that you’re a boy. One thing that intensifies that is when a girl tends to like a guy who doesn’t seem to care at all. As a girl you just cannot tell a guy how you feel about him especially here in the Philippines because of the saying of the oldies: “hindi dapat ikaw ang mauna kasi babae ka”. Sabi naman ng iba, “freakin’ gosh! Its year 2011 for goodness’ sake and somehow its okay that the girl will court a guy!”, but still in this society, it’s not that acceptable and isa pa, it’s in the guy’s ego na manligaw. According to one book I’ve read which was written by the famous author Bo Sanchez, boys are born hunters and literally catch their prey but if the prey is the one who’s coming over the hunter seems to find another because every prey is a challenge for them, the challenging, the better. And if explained in the layman’s term...if the opposite sex is the one that will chase them, the very first instinct of the guy is not to entertain that girl and look for another who is way challenging because in some guy’s perspective, the challenging the girl may be, the more they’ll take care of it, But then once again, a girl is being ignored...poor little girl, ang tanging kasalanan naman niya ay nainlove sya but then again... she just shouldn’t express it. Oh its really hard to be a girl... bakit? Kasi hindi pwede ganito... hindi pwede ganun? Some girls pag nainlove they would give everything as in EVERYTHING including their virginity just to satisfy their dream boy but girl, that will just make you less of a person.
Somehow, I believe that there are ways naman para macaught ng mga girls ang attention ng guy na gusto niya by being herself, loving who she really is, and by fixing herself like overhaul but it doesn’t have to be expensive eh... basta girls... take care of yourself kasi most of the guys naman don’t really look outside... most of the times... its what in the inside that matters, right? Its just a matter of being a little somehow picky sa lalaki kasi you only love once and it has to be right as in everything has to be in good faith cause if its not...Oh girl, you’re in a great trouble.
Well, anyways, let’s all be cautious and careful in choosing the one we’re going to love kasi in the end... tayo ang magbebenefit or magsusuffer ng decision we’ve made. Oo, sabi ng iba... if you choose to love that person... you should to love all the part of that person... the good, the bad and the ugly. Accept him/her for being who he/she is and who he/she isn’t. Its a great sacrifice isn’t it? Well, better endure that than to live alone and die without experiencing everything. That makes life colourful. Experiencing everything. The joy, the pain, the sorrow, the excitement and the fun. If you won’t be able to experience all of that... you’ll be missing something and you won’t live a full life if you keep on playing on just the safe side.
Some would say about Love... Love is blind, I say its not love that’s blind... its the person who’s being blind. Love hurts, I say... its not love that hurts you... its the person who caused you pain is the one who hurts you. Don’t blame everything on love because love in nature is good. According to Nikki Gil when I’ve watched one of the episode of Mellow Myx, she mentioned that Love was made not to hurt anyone but to ease the pain, if you’re hurting, don’t blame Love cause its not the fault of Love. Its the person’s.
Love plus commitment equals relationship. In committing yourself into a relationship, Love ain’t just enough. It includes lots of important things like: Understanding... a wide one. Patience...a longer one. Time...spontaneous but not deranged. Studying each other’s behaviour and how to react in every break out to be able to prevent it from repeating all over. Meeting half way so that fight will be prevented. Being a friend to each other. Being more than lovers but partners in every occasion and situation. Give and Take relationship. And a lot of prayers. And a lot more.
I can’t even add anything more because I haven’t felt that. I haven’t entered into any so I guess I can add more if I’ll be able to have one. That is definitely an exciting adventure to look forward to. Hope it will happen sooner than I expected. All I need to do is befriend, know him more than he knows himself and pray that he’ll respond to the love I will share.
Some says they are waiting for the right person to come but I say... I will be the right person to come in his life and I hope he will notice that. That I am the answer to his prayers.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

No one could ever know

Nothing in this world is permanent. Everything is constant. From the very beginning of my life here on earth I was able to see the rapid change of so many things. This day won’t be the same as the other unless you are following such a routine but yet it still not the same. At the age of 17, I somehow thought what’s the essence of having a life. How are you going to live it to the fullest? How are you going to start when everything’s new to you, just like a newly graduate from college? How to handle such things you’ve just encountered? will you be able to manage it or you’ll lose it? Options? Decisions? Do or not? Yes or No? There are so many things you’ll have to consider before doing such an act.

I can still remember in my Philosophy class when our professor discussed about connections. He said that we are all connected in different aspects and ways. Caged in chains as I recall. Whenever a person makes a decision, he/she might think what will the outcome be, how many lives will be affected in one decision you thought was right? it is an initial reaction for those people who are afraid to commit mistakes but for the others, they don’t usually have second thoughts, risk takers as they called them, they just decide or do it without thinking what will the result be. Lucky for some risk takers they wager for a worthy bet and ironically speaking, some of the careful people fail with what they’ve planned.

Did you ever thought what fate or God is planning to every individual? Did you ever think of what might have been and what should have been if you did the other way around? Sounds confusing, right? Some says it’s magical. Some says it’s eerie. You would never know what will happen next. Might be today is your lucky day but how about the day after it? Will you still be as lucky as what you’ve felt today? Worse or even better?

No one could ever predict the future unless you have the supernatural power to see it. It’s not like Alice in the series movie “Twilight Saga” that once you’ve decided she’ll know what will happen next. Our mind is full of mind boggling things we subconsciously think of. There are lots of things we want to happen, there are lots of stuffs we wanted to do. There are lots of people we want to talk to or want to meet. There are lots of games we wanted to play. But life is just like music, there are popping and cracking tunes that makes us move and have fun. Be cheerful and happy. There are some rock tunes that makes us want for something unusual, a sort of little rebellion and aggressiveness or some adrenaline – a total rush. There are some mellow tunes that make us feel special, feel wonder, romance – love. There are also some sad and sentimental tunes that will make us cry and feel the pain, but there are also some inspiring tunes that will enlighten us after every fall, after we stumble in the dark, after we mourn, the song says it all... that we’ll rise again.

Life is such a mysterious yet enjoyable adventure. No one could ever know what lies beyond our future, what will be the next scenario. What will happen after death? Is there a life after it? Some would attempt but can hardly know the answer, worse, they end up hanging, they end up knowing nothing. Some searched, most of them lost it. Nobody could ever define it. No one... knows. 
Happiness is Priceless

One poet quoted that money can’t buy happiness. It says true. But sometimes it’s not. Some people finds their happiness through shopping, buying clothes, shoes and stuffs and for some techie yahoos in town, they find happiness with their newly bought gadgets which is IN for the moment. Some people find their happiness in helping other people by giving them food, clothing, shelter, toys and every little thing they need or sometimes want. Some pettish people find happiness in spending lots of dime a day, buying a girl for a night and taking the pleasure all the way. You know what I mean? One word. SEX. Some teens find happiness in seeing their crush, buying him/her a gift without his/her knowing and it just swept them all along.
Question. What is the root of all this? One word. MONEY. Come to think of it. Money is not that bad at all. In the first place its not money, its the person who’s using it in any aspect he/she would like to. A person has lots of options, he/she can use it to help other people or otherwise kill other people for their own interest, but whatever it is, the result it gives to that person is also one word by all means - HAPPINESS.
How can you say that a person is happy? Or experiencing happiness? By doing what? Such things that are indicated above? Or more than that? Way better, beyond that. How can you define happiness? What is its effect to one person? To the other who’s experiencing it too? To the friends of the other who are experiencing it the same way? Is it contagious? Unstoppable? Spreading all over the community? The society? The world? Or just yourself?
There are two kinds of happiness, one is the shallow one, where you can find your happiness in material things and the second one is the deep one, where you can find your happiness by spending some time with a friend or friends, family, loved ones without spending a penny at all, just a moment with them is the price of their worth.
Some would rather feel the shallow one but for the others, it is PRICELESS to spend just one moment, one precious moment with the people they love and loved them back.
You? What is happiness for you?

DOWN BEFORE, UP NOW

Napakarami ng nangyari... In my 21 years of existence here on earth, halos lahat na ata naexperience ko na. Ang maging leader, maging singer, dancer, director, taga make up, maging host at kung anu ano pang mga Gawain, may kinalaman man o wala sa academics... may ilan mang hindi ko pa nagagawa o naranasan pero alam ko sa sarili ko... balang araw,darating din ako dyan.
        Marami na rin akong mga naencounter, problema, mga taong hindi mo maisipan kung makitid ba ang utak o sadyang kailangan lang ng malawak na pang unawa, mga taong sakim,mga taong gusto lagi na sa kanila ang attensyon ng karamihan, mga taong unfair at walang konsiderasyon. Minsan, iiyak na lang ako sa isang tabi para gumaan ang pakiramdam o kaya’y maglalakad lakad, papunta sa isang lugar kung saan makakapag isip ako ng maayos o kaya’y gagala kasama ang ilang kaibigan sa kung saan man, mag fofood trip, magkukwentuhan, magbabarahan at magtatawanan na parang wala ng bukas.
         Dati, sinabi ko sa sarili ko na mag iingat na ako sa pagpili ng kaibigan o ng taong makakasama pero sadyang mapaglaro ang kapalaran... kahit gaanong ingat ang gawin mo ay mayroon talagang mga taong hindi mo maintindihan, at one moment, okay kayo, tapos may bigla lang nangyari, hindi mo lang naipaliwanag lahat, bigla ng magrereact, iisiping mali ka at siya ang tama. Talaga ngang kahit anong gawin mo, hindi mo hawak ang maaaring kasunod na mangyari. Pilitin mo mang magpakabait at magpakabuti, pilit pa ring may sisira sa mabuting imaheng iniingatan mo ng matagal na panahon,hindi talaga maalis sa ating mga Pilipino ang “crab mentality”, bakit kaya ganun noh? Imbis na magtulungan ay naghahatakan pa pababa, ano bang naidudulot na mabuti nito? Pansariling interes? Panandaliang kasiyahan sa paglubog ng taong iyong kinaiinisan? Eh papaano kung mabaliktad ang sitwasyon? At ikaw ang nasa posisyon ng taong iyon? Ano kayang mararamdaman mo? Maiinis ka ba? Magagalit? Anong unang nasa isip mo pag nakabangon ka na laban sa nakapanlulumong pangyayaring kinabagsakan mo dahil sa ginawa ng taong ‘yon? Ganti ba? Bakit hindi mo tanungin ang sarili mo? Pagbali baliktarin man ang sitwasyon ang crab mentality at paghihiganti ay parehong may masamang resulta, sa kapwa mo at sa sarili mo. Ano ano? Una... kapag gumanti ka sa kapwa mo... binibigyan mo lang sya ng dahilan para masaktan ka ng pabalik, kadalasan... mas masahol at mas masakit ang ganti, at pag lumala... nakakatakot! Ikalawa...nakakagawa tayo ng isang bagay na hindi nateng inaasahan sa sobrang galit... masyadong tayong nagpapadala sa ating mga emosyon na wala namang naidudulot na maganda... sige nga, magbigay ka nga ng isang sitwasyon kung saan ay nakabuti ang “crab mentality” o ganti? WALA noh? Kasi lahat ng bagay, pag idinaan sa galit, init ng ulo at tension ay walang magandang patutunguhan kung hindi away o gulo na hindi ikatatahimik ng konsensya mo... at ikatlo, nawawala ang mabuting parte ng sarili mo, nababahiran ng dungis ng kasamaan ang malinis mong puso at higit sa lahat, unti unti ka ng nalulunod sa makamundong gawain. Magigising ka na lang isang araw... hindi mo na pala kilala ang sarili mo...
“Listening changes it all”... ito ang tagline ng commercial na napanood ko nung minsan sa AXN... it has caught my attention... apat na salita pero napakalalim ng kahulugan... napakalawak ng pwedeng ipahiwatig... Oo nga... Maaaring ang pakikinig lamang ang pwedeng magbago sa lahat... para maging mabuti ang lahat... pero ang hirap sa mga tao... kahit ano mang lahi... Hindi marunong makinig. Kadalasan, kapag may sinasabi ang isang tao sa harapan para makuha ang ating attensyon, ano ang ginagawa mo ng mga panahong iyon? Natutulog? Nagtetext? Nakikipagtsismisan? Nakikipagharutan o kung ano pa man? Ganyan naman tayo eh... walang disiplina... sa sobrang pagwawalang bahala naten... hindi naten nalalaman na ang isang pinakamahalagang pangyayari sa ating buhay ay hindi na naten nabibigyang halaga. Bakit? Kasi hindi tayo nakinig. Maaaring narinig naten pero pagkatapos ano? Ilalabas sa kabilang tenga? Ni hindi man lang naten inanalyze? Ni hindi man lang naten inunawa? Ganyan tayo eh... Pinapakinggan lang naten ang gusto nating pakinggan... Tinitingnan lang naten ang gusto nateng tingnan... Pero sa kabilang banda, at madalas hindi naten makita, ang mga sarili nateng pagkakamali... magaling lang tayong magturo... magaling lang tayong mamblame... pero sa huli... kung iisipin mong mabuti... at pagtatagpi tagpiin mo ang mga pangyayari... maaaring hindi ikaw ang biktima ngunit ikaw ang may kasalanan... isinisisi mo lang. Bakit? Kasi takot ka... takot kang marinig ang katotohanan... bakit? Kasi totoo?! “Truth Hurts” yet “Truth will set you free”. Ilang salita lang naman ang makakawala ng agam agam mo eh... ACCEPTANCE, Yun lang naman eh. At pagkatapos... APOLOGIZE, to the people you’ve hurt and to yourself at makipagreconcile ka... ATONEMENT and START ANEW.
        Ironically, may mga salitang maiikli pero napakalalim at napakalaki ng pwedeng magawa at maging impact sayo... Yun eh kung pagaaralan mo ng maigi... Kung magoobserba ka kesa titingnan mo lang, kung iintindhin mo at hindi mo lang papakinggan at ipagsawalang bahala, at higit sa lahat kung aalamin at titimbangin mo ng walang bias ang mga sitwasyon. Sometimes, it takes self-deprivation to know what’s real and what’s right. Kung hindi muna naten iisipin ang mga pansarili nateng interes para sa ikabubuti ng karamihan... siguro... makakapamuhay tayo ng mapayapa at walang pag aalinlangan. Masyado na kasi tayong nalunod sa material na bagay... pati kaligayahan natin nagiging mababaw na... sabi nga sa book ni Mitch Albom na Tuesdays with Morrie, “Detach yourself to it. Feel it, but then you’ll have to let it go...” Karamihan sa atin... sasabihin... “I can’t live without my phone or I won’t survive without facebook.” Too much shallowness sa katawan, baka nakakalimutan naten... hindi lahat ng bagay sa mundo ay permanente... baka nakakalimutan naten na hiram lang ang buhay naten at anytime pwede tong bawiin sa ‘tin without any prior notice. Mag isip ka... Baka may nakaligtaan ka.
        It takes realization of the reality for me to realize everything... in my 21 years of existence... I’m so thankful despite of whatever had happened in the past... Hindi man ako perpekto atleast alam ko kung saan ko ilulugar ang sarili ko. Ilang beses na akong nakaranas ng kapaitan ng buhay pero sinasabi ko na lang na maswerte pa rin ako kasi may ibang mga tao na masahol pa ang kinahantungan sa akin... Nagpapasalamat na lang ako lalo na sa Diyos dahil pinatibay ako ng mga pagsubok na binigay niya... You’ll only find your individuality if you overcome all the struggles you’ve encountered, instead of asking and complaining why it is happening, ask this.. “Lord, What do you want me to learn?” then you’ll find the answer as you go on, with your faith as your mighty weapon... I doubt kung matalo ka pa... Ayos lang umiyak paminsan minsan pero sabihin mo sa sarili mo pagkatapos ng lahat ng luha na naibuhos mo ay katumbas ng panibagong araw ng susuungin mo at pagtatagumapayan. Walang mangyayari kung magiging pessimist ka your whole life, syempre, may mga bagay talaga ng hindi maipaliwanag pero magpapatalo ka ba ng basta basta? 3 lang naman ang kalaban ng tao dito eh, ang kapwa mo, ang mundo at ang pinaka mabigat na kalaban ay ang SARILI mo. Kung papaano mo maaaoutwit ang sarili mo... mabuti o masama? Dapat o hindi dapat? Kaya mo naman yan eh!  Maging positive ka lang lagi at wag kalimutang ngumiti, basta alam mong tama ka... ipaglaban mo... Patuloy lang ang buhay, sulitin mo habang may oras ka pa... Ako? Ganun ang ginagawa ko... para sa oras na mawala man ako, atleast masasabi kong... nagenjoy ako sa buhay ko... Oo, hiram lang ang buhay naten pero binigyan tayo ng kalayaan para maging maayos at maging makulay ang buhay natin sa lupa, may pasakit man minsan pero patuloy pa rin ang laban... Ikaw? Ano ang pwede mong gawin para maging memorable naman ang stay mo dito sa mundong ibabaw? Ngiti lang... May pag asa pa kaibigan... J

Sunday, February 20, 2011

WHERE HAVE ALL THE APPLAUSES GONE? 
( a short declamation piece)


Spotlight (snap) Microphone (check 1 2 3 good) Music (let me hear it? Up, down, sustain... out)
I am Luisa...
I was a performer. Indeed a good one. No, exceptional, great, loved, adored.
 I am an actress on a stage play. Musicale is my forte. I sing. I dance. I act. And with every gesture and every punch line I do, There are screams and applauses... ( Thank you! Thank you! Oh, I love you too! See you on my next show!)
Oh how I want to hear that always! So sweet and pleasant...
Nice words from here and there and everywhere! I so love it!

Company call! Green Room is at room number 406. We’ll have a run-through.
Rehearsal once again... When my director say, You Luisa! You’re going to portray the lead again, you better give your best shot. I just smiled and humbly say, Thank you Direk, you just don’t know how happy I am that you chose me again, I will never ever fail you... and the curtain opens once again, all I have to do is do the routine and that’s it. Screams, applauses have come once again...
Months... years...Different stages, different places, different audience, I have encountered once again... with me as the lead, I did it once again...

But at one point... something bothered me... I looked in my mirror... I am not getting any younger and my age doesn’t fit to any younger roles anymore... and I suddenly felt that I am ageing... wrinkles on head... warts on my cheeks... and grey hair... lots of it...

Coldness has plunged into my very spine... like a dagger... slowly... slowly...
It was like performing in front of the stage and yet no one would like to watch...
Feels like floating in nowhere... and you know how it feels?
Painful... like tons of metal had thrown upon me...

 **Where are the screams? Where is the laughter? Where have all the applauses gone?
Can you tell me? Can you tell me please? Can you? Can you?
Please! I’m begging you... tell me... tell me... oh please I am not going anywhere, I’ll stay here. This is my palace, this is my kingdom, this is mine, mine, mine! I can't live without it, its my LIFE! its my whole LIFE!

And as the curtain close... I say goodbye dearly to you... my beloved audience... til next play... goodbye... goodbye...




Saturday, February 5, 2011

question number 10

Gadget: want or need?


 I am not really a techie kind of person but I buy some gadgets too, usually out of need not just out of want. My latest technological gadget I have today is my Neo laptop. I find it convenient to use because I don’t have to go outside and rent a computer especially with my course, computer is now a necessity. I work in it. Files and any stuff that are needed – name it. Life has been easier with a computer in front of you. But somehow, technology has its disadvantage too, Of course, if you have a laptop, one thing you can’t resist is to use the internet and most probably log on to face book.  And I admit I am one of so many people who are like that. I usually spend lots of time browsing whatever on face book then comment here and there, take a look at the picture of this and that, like someone’s post, everything. And honestly, sometimes I spend more time in doing that than to study and I know, I am not the only one who’s like this.
I believe that all the things in this world were created with purpose, a purpose which is only for the good of the mankind alone, but nowadays, since we are free to do whatever we want, we can’t even notice that the things we are about to do may affect lots of people.