A daughter's Lament

Every girl is dreaming to have a complete family. A kind of family that’s happy and very supportive to each and every member of it. I am of them.

            I grew up without having a father by my side, I mean because he’s working abroad during those times up to now. He’ll be in different countries for about 9-10 months then he’ll be back here in the Philippines for vacation. One thing I noticed about him is every time he’ll be here, it’s like he doesn’t have any intentions of being a father to us. He’ll only talk to us when he needs something. He didn’t even bother to ask us how’s our studies going, did we (me and my brother) have received any achievements or something like that. I never hear any of those from him. Sometimes I get exasperated in his attitude because instead of mingling with his kids (with us), He’d rather be alone or going somewhere else to keep himself busy. Is that a right way to be a father or he wasn’t taught how to be a good one? Well I don’t believe one should be taught just to be good to a certain skill and being a father is not a kind of skill one should learn, it will naturally come out. As a father, you should be the one reminding your kids about the things they ought to know, things that can never be learned in school or by peers or else something terrible might happen or worse, something destructible which I know any parent wouldn’t want to happen to their own child.

            He never told us his story and I felt like his not even interested to share any of those memories he had way back when he was still at our age, way back when his parents were still alive. Until my mama told me that he was mistreated by his father, he was working so hard to be able for him have money for his needs basically academic needs but his father would just get all those money and throw it all up for a cock fight and due to bad faith, his father will lose. And at the end of the day, he is broke. All the money he got from working all day was vanished because of the irresponsibility of his father. I guess from that day on, he promised to himself not to be like that when he became a father that he wouldn’t allow his children to experience that. Yes, luckily, he wasn’t that kind of father to us. But he’s so numb. He didn’t even know us, literally, because he didn’t observed us grow and the thing is…He’s not reaching out to us, I, personally wants to talk to him and know his story but I am afraid he would reject my offer. He seldom laugh, his face is always serious. He seemed deep but shallow. He always blames me for being a careless spender. He always sees if there is something wrong with everybody except himself. But he wouldn’t even bother to ask if there is something wrong with him that’s why we’re treating him like a stranger to us because at one point, He really is.

            I wish he could realize what we really want from him. It’s not the money but his willingness. It’s not the gadgets that he bought for us but his presence. And it’s not the chocolates that he gives us but his love. If a mother’s love is incomparable, nothing could be greater than a father’s love. That’s just what I want. Is that hard to ask?